The Struggle
We all have struggles in this life we are living and some of us have more than others and some of us even try to ignore or refuse to see them. I am really good at ignoring or down right refusing to look at mine.
Now most people assume that the reason that people are over-weight is the plain fact that we just eat too much...and the very bottom line does come out to be the final truth...but what is not true is that we all get up in the morning and start our day with the most fattening thing we can find and just continue on from there...nope not true for all...and not true for me....I was not sitting at home with bags of chips surrounding me...and food hiding in places that I only know where they are... that was not my "struggle"
My "struggle" started a very long time ago...why it started I don't know and to be honest doesn't matter..what matters is that I face it...and maybe sharing it with all of you even makes it more real.
My "struggle" is ...not eating all day long and then eating once..and when you don't eat for long periods of time your body goes into survival mode and starts sending out messages to all parts of your body....it tells your metabolism to slooooow down don't burn all that we are going to need it...it then says store all the fat we can.. we are going to need it for later..we don't have enough to function....it basically says STOP EVERYTHING we are in trouble here. So years of this has formed my body to the shape it is now...so hmmm the logical thing to do would be to reverse this pattern. Yes that is the "logical" thing to do...but it is not like walking into a room and flipping a switch..it takes time to "struggle" with the illogical thoughts that have become ingrained and literally become pathways in my brain.
The reason I stopped eating.... is in my brain people who eat all the time were fat so i would not eat and I did not like to eat in front of people I knew..so i wouldn't eat.. then at the end or even sometimes the middle of the day...I was starving.. so I would eat and eat big..lots of cheese...anything that was gooey it was for me. Then I was full way too full and wouldn't eat again(punishing myself for eating)because remember only fat people eat....do you see the cycle I created for myself?
Ok now i am eating and having to track everything and it is HARD.. my brain just does not want to cooperate with my logic...and counting calories is difficult because --Remember fat people eat---and to convince myself to eat on a consistent basis is harder than going to the gym.
Ok long enough for today..just needed to see it out of my brain!

By the way what I have been calling a "Struggle" can you see that it is a "DISORDER" ?

" Get out of your Head...your brain is a Dangerous neighborhood..do not go in alone!"